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The one that meant the most...what was his name?

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(one more cup of coffee for the road)

[18 Jan 2004|11:16pm]
well, it looks like i've finally got to get another journal because LJ is being dumb with this one...i will let you all know individually what my new one is. oh, and if i dont tell you about it myself, then i dont want you to know, although there are always ways of finding out yourself eh? so, let's say goodbye to patgilbert...

(one more cup of coffee for the road)

[18 Jan 2004|11:11pm]
lol, i will never accept "I just thought he was being nice" as an excuse ever again.

(2 missed chances | one more cup of coffee for the road)

the one with the REAL end of the chase. [18 Jan 2004|08:01pm]
II'm sorry, I dont know why this has been on my mind lately. I dont know why i've been thinking about YOU out of all people. Dammit. no one read too much into this ok? It's just got me down and i don't know why.



"I said it without thinking... as though it was a completely natural reaction. That's never happened before. And in the time that I knew would end, I could have stayed and started life again. Forgotten everything just to wake up like I did yesterday. Your eyes are like the desert sun and they set my soul on fire. So do we live now like we're standing between science fiction, and let it be as natural as those words, and can you stand to understand what November brings, because right now my soul is tormented over that and each day that grows closer makes me wonder... but God is good and gracious, He will never give us more than we can handle, and either way, we'll see our star in heaven. "

Ha, november, didn't take you that long to toss me aside...did it?

you know what, I'm going to bow out, stop caring, and forget...it's what i'm best at.

(one more cup of coffee for the road)

The one for california girl. [18 Jan 2004|07:53pm]
How I wish that journal entry was about me.
How I wish you gave a shit.
How I wish I didn't care if you did.
How I wish you would read this.
How I wish that you'd conisider my feelings for a minute.

By would you? Who was I? I sure as hell didn't matter, right ?
I could really use a phone call from you...or something.

do you even care


and why the hell do i!!!?!?

(one more cup of coffee for the road)

[18 Jan 2004|05:06pm]
sorry if i'm not too interested in the oh-so-fun goings on of BYi'llmarryU. Provo...it's all the same crap.

(one more cup of coffee for the road)

[15 Jan 2004|12:38am]
What kind of Final Fantasy Character would I be? by TheBlueParadox
Your Name/Handle
Your Hair StyleShort silver hair
Your Clothing StyleFlowing Clothes/Lots of Frills
Your Weapon of ChoiceDouble-bladed sword
Your MissionTo Defeat My Evil Father.
Your Role in the FantasyTrue Hero:"We leave together."
Created with quill18's MemeGen!

(one more cup of coffee for the road)

[11 Jan 2004|11:35pm]
Part of the reason I made this decision was I knew there would be times that I wouldn't be able to talk, and I need you to be ok with that. You know me, you know how I get when I am up here. I want to be solitary, and I wish you would support that. I thought you understood all of this, I thought we talked about this. I don't want to hurt you but this is something I gotta do.

(one more cup of coffee for the road)

you know it [11 Jan 2004|07:46pm]



You're Ireland!

Mystical and rain-soaked, you remain mysterious to many people, and this
makes you intriguing.  You also like a good night at the pub, though many are just as
worried that you will blow up the pub as drink your beverage of choice.  You're good
with words, remarkably lucky, and know and enjoy at least fifteen ways of eating a potato.
 You really don't like snakes.

Take the Country Quiz at
the Blue Pyramid

(one more cup of coffee for the road)

the one with the question [10 Jan 2004|10:03am]
Your worth does not lie in the retention of some damn rule. Your worth as a person is inherently tied to your salvation due to the blood of Jesus Christ. I see that, and He sees that, why can't you?

(1 missed chance | one more cup of coffee for the road)

The one where no one showed up to the first ever youth service [09 Jan 2004|07:54pm]
[ mood | determined ]

I will NOT let this discourage me. All of this is in God's hands. Whyever this happened tonight is for God to know, not me. My only job is to step where he points. The last step I took led me a too a dead-end, but i must believe that that too is God's plan. I will wait. I will stay here and wait until i recieve my next direction.


God, help me.

(one more cup of coffee for the road)

I wonder how many journals have posted this...? Still it is interesting. All must read [09 Jan 2004|07:51pm]
[ mood | curious ]

http://www.nytimes.com/2004/01/11/magazine/11BLOG.html?pagewanted=1

(1 missed chance | one more cup of coffee for the road)

[09 Jan 2004|11:15am]
I am Sephiroth; I was the strongest soldier in the Shinra army. I was a pretty good guy, and even destroyed the occasional monster. Eventually, I found out I was made in a lab, and went crazy. I then summoned a huge meteor to crush the planet!
Which RPG villain are you?

(1 missed chance | one more cup of coffee for the road)

[08 Jan 2004|06:33pm]
GAH! Thanks a lot, that was a real help

(1 missed chance | one more cup of coffee for the road)

the one with the screen name change [07 Jan 2004|02:13pm]
My new screen name, for those interested is:

ThatDoorknobTas@aol.com.

yay


I just got back into cedar. 19 messages on my machine. jeez!

It is kind of bleak and lonely here, and my room smells funny. but it is good to be back. mostly. anyway, i'm going to play KOTOR for hours now. so...bye

(one more cup of coffee for the road)

the one with the bildungsroman [06 Jan 2004|11:26pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

This winter break has been surreal. Honestly, it could easily be one of those sardonic, bittersweet, touching, coming-of-age movies. In fact, someday I may write a play about the things that happened over this break. Up and down, down and out, out of this world - that's how i would describe this winter break. What a ride though. It will be nice to get back home. Heh, i am calling cedar city home, how weird is that?

I may not try out for Merchant of Venice. I just feel that this church stuff is much more important. But i know how left out i will feel if i dont. I really dont know yet what i'm gonna do. I better decide quick.

I saw somethings gotta give tonight. That movie reminded me WAY too much of myself. Kind of a glimpse into a possible future.

Kasey, it's alright Kasey, it's alright. I wont let anyone hurt you. I will make you laugh. Look Kase, bunnies...

(one more cup of coffee for the road)

the one with the ungirlfriend [05 Jan 2004|11:37pm]
[ mood | calm ]

It is going to be a long road. There will be times when we slip. But in the end, we are going to make it, together.

heh heh, ungirlfriend.

God is good. God is strong. Very strong. You're going to make it through this, I promise. And I will help.

God has really been able to work through me these last few days, with all the stuff I have been dealing with. These things have caused me to stay calm, and let go, letting myself become an instrument for the Holy Spirit to work through. I really think that I would make a great Pastor, as long as I remain in the Word, you know? He has been with me all week and it has been a wonderful feeling. He has only been confirming that which I wondered about. I am very glad. Very, very glad.

(one more cup of coffee for the road)

The one with bunnies on the wall [04 Jan 2004|12:38am]
[ mood | drained ]

"We tried to wash our hands of all of this
we never talked of a lack in relationships
and how we're guilt stricken sobbin'
with our heads on the floor
we fell through the ice when
we tried not to slip we'd say
we cant be held responsible
she was touchin' her face
i wont be held responsible
we fell in love in the first place"

how can i look at myself in the mirror. what have i done?

"Look Raist! Bunnies!"

"I am here to buy gold, refined in the fire
naked and poor, wretched and blind I come
cloth me in white, so I wont be ashamed
Lord light the fire again"

I think we are going to survive. There is a long hard fight ahead of us, but we are going to make it. God said we would.

(one more cup of coffee for the road)

The one with sadness. [03 Jan 2004|11:44am]
[ mood | guilty ]

Thats what it comes down to, it is a sad day.

In that face I now understand what it means to be devastated.

Abba, Father, Precious Healer, take this cup from me.

King David praised the Lord in his darkest hour, so can I.

"Why her smile seems to hide tragedy"

(one more cup of coffee for the road)

[03 Jan 2004|11:28am]
I have destroyed the last bastion of good that I saw in this world.

Now the nightmares will return

(one more cup of coffee for the road)

the one with Ephesians 2:4-5 [03 Jan 2004|03:09am]
"But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions-it is by grace you have ben saved." Ephesians 2:4-5

Lord, help me. Help me.

I am sorry. I am so so sorry. Do not stop praying. Never, EVER stop praying.

Oh Lord, what have i done?

"What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God-through Jesus Christ our Lord!" Romans 7:24-25

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